Note: For six weeks, July 5 - August 11, I will be enrolled in the culinary arts cooking and pastry/baking certificate programs at Boston University. Cooking is Monday and Tuesday, baking is Wednesday and Thursday. We have to keep a daily journal of the experience, so I'll be blogging about the class every day.

And then there were none. Classes. And then there were none classes.

Let's get this last post out of the way so we can get back to the recipes, eh? It's been a month of these journal entries. Over a month? When did these start? What's going on? How do I make corn and pepper soup? (That's the first recipe when we get back to the recipes on this blog probably).

So, for the last baking class we had to make a pre-1900 recipe as well as a modern version. We actually had to to do this for cooking as well, but times three. For that I made German/Dutch baby pancakes, Welsh rabbit and green bean soup. The pre-1900 version of the pancakes: disgusting. Plech. Like the sweetest, wettest, slimiest omelette you've ever had. The modern version? Delicious! Both rabbits/rarebits were perfectly delicious. The old time green bean soup was fine, just a little flavorless. The modern one was better.

Anyway, so I made popovers for baking. The old version was a 3-2-1 recipe, with 3 cups of flour, 2 cups of milk and 1 cup of water. They also had one egg and a bit of salt. They were...not good. They were very dense and moist and not delicious at all. There was certainly no popping over going on.

The new version: delicious! Very popovers! So we had to make the two versions in class and then everyone tasted them while each person gave a little history of the dish. Do you want to learn about popovers? Of course you do! Let me tell you about them!

Note: For six weeks, July 5 - August 11, I will be enrolled in the culinary arts cooking and pastry/baking certificate programs at Boston University. Cooking is Monday and Tuesday, baking is Wednesday and Thursday. We have to keep a daily journal of the experience, so I'll be blogging about the class every day.

Oh hello. I've been very bad about updating about my last few baking classes. It's been so strange having each night off, all to myself, to do whatever I want to do. I can make whatever recipes I want! I can read whatever I want. Right now I'm reading that new book about Scientology? Jeepers. Although, I'm going to start my own cult because you can say anything and people will be like, "Where do I sign?" And now I have the time! "Oh good, a blog post about how the blogger hasn't updated his or her blog in a while. I love those and there are not enough of them." That's what you were just thinking in your head. Well get off my back, ass, I blogged like three days ago. Join my cult. OK!

Anyways. The second to the last class was all about Middle Eastern desserts (not deserts! hahaha), mainly from Egypt. They were...interesting. 

Note: For six weeks, July 5 - August 11, I will be enrolled in the culinary arts cooking and pastry/baking certificate programs at Boston University. Cooking is Monday and Tuesday, baking is Wednesday and Thursday. We have to keep a daily journal of the experience, so I'll be blogging about the class every day.

Do you remember when Top Chef went to Las Vegas and there was that one challenge that was like, "Pull the handle on the slot machine and whatever ingredients pop up that's what you have to use in your dish!" Remember? I mean, that's pretty much how all of the challenges are. "We found these old sneakers at the bottom of a dumpster. Make an amuse bouche out of them!" "It was good, but too big for an amouse bouche." Shutup, Padma. (Just kidding, Padma!) But still, I remember that one in particular. And then all of the resulting dishes sound like they came out of the El Bulli dish name generator?

Well, that's kind of like how our final challenge was. Except instead of the slot machine coming up with deciduous tree roe, raptor steaks and a lime popsicle that has melted in the sun, we got shrimp, chicken and raspberries. Phew!

Note: For six weeks, July 5 - August 11, I will be enrolled in the culinary arts cooking and pastry/baking certificate programs at Boston University. Cooking is Monday and Tuesday, baking is Wednesday and Thursday. We have to keep a daily journal of the experience, so I'll be blogging about the class every day.

A lot of times people are like, "Ewww, sushi." But then a lot of times other people are like, "I'm so fancy because I love sushi." Which one are you? Add up your answers and find out at the end of this quiz.

I'm the latter! It's delicious! I'm not sure what people don't like about sushi. Actually, yes I do. It's the raw fish. I don't know why I said I didn't. And then people are like, "Do you even like the sushi with the big piece of raw fish on top?" And you are like, "Yup," in a way that is like, "Yup, I'm a badass," and they are like, "Disgusting!!!"

So, OK, fine. People like what they like and don't like what they don't like and that's fine. You shouldn't apologize for not liking something! But, sushi is basically rice (well, sushi rolls, at least). It would make more sense to me if you said you don't like sushi because you don't like rice. "Oh, sure, that makes sense." Although I've never heard of anyone who didn't like rice.

Note: For six weeks, July 5 - August 11, I will be enrolled in the culinary arts cooking and pastry/baking certificate programs at Boston University. Cooking is Monday and Tuesday, baking is Wednesday and Thursday. We have to keep a daily journal of the experience, so I'll be blogging about the class every day.

So, not to keep writing about all of the foods I don't like (stupid meringue). Basically, I'll eat anything (except olives). If I have to eat broccoli or cream cheese or sour cream or whatever (except olives), I'll eat it (except olives). But I know what I like and I would prefer to eat those things. Because those things are better.

So, cream cheese is not my favorite thing in the world (it doesn't taste like cheese at all to me; it tastes like some weirdly tangy thick stuff that coats my tongue) and therefore cheesecake is not my favorite thing in the world. That's on the SAT - I do not like cream cheese, therefore I do not like A) robot teddy bears B) war C) incessant computer warning messages D) cheesecake. The answer is D. 1 point! Go to college!

Note: For six weeks, July 5 - August 11, I will be enrolled in the culinary arts cooking and pastry/baking certificate programs at Boston University. Cooking is Monday and Tuesday, baking is Wednesday and Thursday. We have to keep a daily journal of the experience, so I'll be blogging about the class every day.

Like car commercials, talking about hating Mondays or liking Fridays on Facebook, Sarah Palin, news shows asking how parents feel the day after their son or daughter was murdered and when people say, "I'm the type of person who ___," it's too bad I don't like meringue, because there's enough of it to go around. I've got whipping egg whites down by this point. I wish we made chocolate truffles as much as we made egg whites. Or short ribs.

Last Wednesday was French desserts night, even though we've pretty much been making French desserts all along. That being said, the French know their pastries, so you can never really spend too much time on them. Our professor brought in this book and this book and the desserts are pretty much, "Make five different types of cake, four different fillings, a crunchy thing, a paste, a jam, two frostings, a chocolate ganache, put it all together, cover it in two layers of glaze, a sheet of chocolate that has some type of design made with an acetate stencil and finish with some glazed, gold-leaf covered berries." 

Note: For six weeks, July 5 - August 11, I will be enrolled in the culinary arts cooking and pastry/baking certificate programs at Boston University. Cooking is Monday and Tuesday, baking is Wednesday and Thursday. We have to keep a daily journal of the experience, so I'll be blogging about the class every day.

If there is one thing I have learned from these culinary classes, it is that some of the ovens work and some of the ovens don't work and I wish they all worked. Have I talked about this. Well, it is still annoying! Especially the ones that kind of work but not really so you put your cake in and it's kind of hot in the oven and you think, OK, maybe it's a little low, but that's probably just me, the heat of the kitchen is throwing me off probably, and none of these oven thermometers work, so I'll put my cake in, and an hour later it looks like cake soup. Just great.

Oh, but I have also learned that countries are big and they don't eat one dish and you shouldn't expect to learn all about them in four hours. I'm pretty sure I knew this already, but every guest chef has reminded us of this, so if I didn't know I do now.

Note: For six weeks, July 5 - August 11, I will be enrolled in the culinary arts cooking and pastry/baking certificate programs at Boston University. Cooking is Monday and Tuesday, baking is Wednesday and Thursday. We have to keep a daily journal of the experience, so I'll be blogging about the class every day.

So, we avoided default. Phew? I don't know. I mean, great, but also, does it really matter? I'm pretty sure the whole planet is just going to fall in the ocean pretty soon anyway. That is a thing that can happen and I know that because books and that is definitely the scientific thing that occurs when there is a rip in the fabric of the universe and there probably is a rip, I mean there might as well be, or if there isn't we're going to rip it pretty soon or there will be a small rip and maybe we can mend it but we won't be able to agree on whether we should spend money on mending the rip or maybe some group says their god likes the rip and doesn't want us to mend the rip so they hold up the mending the rip legislation and so on and so forth and next thing you know, plop, the earth fell into the ocean.

Anyway, while Congress was arguing over whether they should pay their own bills, that is, whether they should pay for the things that they ordered not too long ago, when they made the budget, they were like let's make the budget, and then they got the bill and they were like, oh my, that's expensive, just saying, anyway, while they were having that legitimate conversation (yup, it was definitely just a nice friendly legitimate conversation), I was making arancini. Mmmm, arancini. The best.

Note: For six weeks, July 5 - August 11, I will be enrolled in the culinary arts cooking and pastry/baking certificate programs at Boston University. Cooking is Monday and Tuesday, baking is Wednesday and Thursday. We have to keep a daily journal of the experience, so I'll be blogging about the class every day.

Did you miss me? You missed me. I was competing in a pie competition. Saturday my sister and I were up until 2am making 300 tiny bourbon banana cream pies. Very normal. I'll tell you all about it later! Hold your breath! 

So, Wednesday and Thursday were bread! People are always afraid to make bread and rightfully so. It's hard! Just being honest. It's the best policy. For some reason there is this thing in food where people are always like, "Just try it! It's really easy!" Some things are not easy and if you only want easy things you should not try them. Also, a lot of those people are just telling you that it is really easy for them. (Although, no-knead bread is extraordinary and very easy).

Because, I've made a lot of bread, and that means I've made a lot of bad bread. There are so many things that can go wrong. It rises too much. It rises too little. The yeast is bad. The yeast is good. You kneaded it too much. You didn't knead it enough. You forgot to add flour. You baked it in the toaster. So many things! Bread is alive and you have to listen to it and hear what it is telling you and take care of it like a little bread baby. And if you don't know what you are listening for it's going to sound like a mute lump of bread sitting on your counter. "......" "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!" "......."

Note: For six weeks, July 5 - August 11, I will be enrolled in the culinary arts cooking and pastry/baking certificate programs at Boston University. Cooking is Monday and Tuesday, baking is Wednesday and Thursday. We have to keep a daily journal of the experience, so I'll be blogging about the class every day.

So I'm reading this book Near a Thousand Tables: A History of Food for class and, after a weird and lengthy diatribe about not cooking your oysters or putting anything on them, the author asks, "What is cooking?" (I started reading it on the bus today and I'm always self-conscious about what I read on the bus because I think people are looking at what I am reading and judging me. But when I read books for class I hope they think I'm smart and scholarly. "Oh, the history of food. Very fancy. Very intelligence." That's what they think in their heads I'm pretty sure. But really I don't think I have to be embarrassed because I see a lot of people reading The Da Vinci Code or Twilight and they don't seem to be embarrassed at all. Also, can I just say that I don't really get this whole, "Well, at least they're reading," thing? Is reading in and of itself, no matter what the material is, virtuous? Why? "It may be a well-worn Penthouse in a booth at McDonalds, but at least he's reading!" Um, no. I mean, read whatever you want, but let's not give everyone a gold star because they are reading the back of the Lucky Charms box.)

Anyways, so what is cooking? What is anything? Why are we here? What is the meaning of life? Does chewing cud, which processes food to make it easier for a ruminant to digest, qualify as cooking? "Among some horse-borne nomads, cuts of meat are rendered edible by being warmed and pressed in the horse's sweat under the saddle on a long ride." Mmm! This is really more of a cookbook than a book of history! But is that actually cooking? Is just altering food cooking?

Note: For six weeks, July 5 - August 11, I will be enrolled in the culinary arts cooking and pastry/baking certificate programs at Boston University. Cooking is Monday and Tuesday, baking is Wednesday and Thursday. We have to keep a daily journal of the experience, so I'll be blogging about the class every day.

"The Cantonese will eat anything with two legs except a man, with four legs except a table and with wings except an airplane."

This is apparently a saying used to describe the Cantonese, which we learned in last night's class devoted to Chinese cuisine. I could take a class on Chinese cuisine alone; it would last a year and we would probably get through ten percent. I'm not sure it's possible to really know all of it.

Helen Chen was our guest chef last night. She's the daughter of Joyce Chen, the famed host of Joyce Chen Cooks, one of the first television cooking shows (it was filmed on the same set as The French Chef). Helen specializes in home cooking, specifically how Americans can cook Chinese food at home, and she also teaches cooking classes, has written three cookbooks and has her own line of Chinese cookware.

Note: For six weeks, July 5 - August 11, I will be enrolled in the culinary arts cooking and pastry/baking certificate programs at Boston University. Cooking is Monday and Tuesday, baking is Wednesday and Thursday. We have to keep a daily journal of the experience, so I'll be blogging about the class every day.

Last Thursday was an abbreviated day in the kitchen because it was 104 degrees outside, 190 degrees in the kitchen (probably) and it was only going to got hotter because we had to fire all of the ovens up for the cakes. So, we cut out one recipe (our kitchen assistant made one Indian pound cake instead of us all making one), we got to wear our civilian clothes instead of the hot chef's jackets and we got out of class a bit early.

So, cake! Did you know the word cake comes from the Norse work "kaka"? That's a fun fact you should always tell people before you are about to serve them delicious cake. It will make them hungrier. Anyway, first we made lamingtons, which translates to "layers of beaten gold," I don't know about that, but they are little sponge cakes, sometimes filled with raspberry or lemon, coated in chocolate and nasty nasty coconut.

Note: For six weeks, July 5 - August 11, I will be enrolled in the culinary arts cooking and pastry/baking certificate programs at Boston University. Cooking is Monday and Tuesday, baking is Wednesday and Thursday. We have to keep a daily journal of the experience, so I'll be blogging about the class every day.

When we first started these classes and the end results would turn out differently for each individual or group, it was always heralded as one of those interesting facts of cooking: "Isn't that something? The same recipe, but each group got different results!" The differences were simply a product of our individuality.

Now it's more like, "Stop doing that." Because really, if you cook in a restaurant, you can't have things turning out differently all of the time. The chef and customer don't think it's an adorable symptom of the human tapestry that this piece of chicken tastes like it has a nice basil sauce on top and that one tastes like pepper stew when they ordered the same thing.

Paris-Brest and Gougeres

Note: For six weeks, July 5 - August 11, I will be enrolled in the culinary arts cooking and pastry/baking certificate programs at Boston University. Cooking is Monday and Tuesday, baking is Wednesday and Thursday. We have to keep a daily journal of the experience, so I'll be blogging about the class every day.

After the craziness that is cooking, baking is positively zen. Ribbons of sugar and egg yolks, slowly caramelizing nougatine, piping circles of pâte à choux, lightly dusting with powdered sugar; it's slower, more methodical and we almost always get out of class on time.

Both of last night's recipes utilized pâte à choux, and I can't for the life of me figure out why people aren't making this all the time. You probably have made it before because you made my recipe for lavender honey eclairs, so good for you. But why aren't other people making pâte à choux? It is very easy and very impressive and delicious and versatile.

First of all, pâte à choux does not mean "shoe paste." "Choux" doesn't translate to "choux" just because they sound the same. It's actually French for "cabbage." Because pâte à choux is made by boiling cabbages, pureeing them, mixing them with eggs, flour and butter, piping the cabbage paste out and baking it so you have a sort of cabbage pastry shell. For dessert.

I got you! Did I get you? I totally got you. You were like, "Gross, cabbage pastry." I got you so bad. What was I talking about? I forgot because I was reminiscing about that time that I got you. Hahaha. That was some good times. Cabbage pastry. Oh, dude.

Note: For six weeks, July 5 - August 11, I will be enrolled in the culinary arts cooking and pastry/baking certificate programs at Boston University. Cooking is Monday and Tuesday, baking is Wednesday and Thursday. We have to keep a daily journal of the experience, so I'll be blogging about the class every day.

That picture isn't the greatest, because the light was pretty dark and romantic, but it's actually a rich, glistening dish of coq au vin. It's a bit much, isn't it? That's the traditional way to serve coq au vin, apparently.

First we browned drumsticks and thighs that we broke down from our chickens the day prior that had been marinating in red wine overnight. They were Barney the Dinosaur purple. Then we sauteed some veggies and deglazed with the red wine marinade. We added the chicken back to the pan, along with some salt pork, garlic and herbs, and simmered for 45 minutes.

Note: For six weeks, July 5 - August 11, I will be enrolled in the culinary arts cooking and pastry/baking certificate programs at Boston University. Cooking is Monday and Tuesday, baking is Wednesday and Thursday. We have to keep a daily journal of the experience, so I'll be blogging about the class every day.

I feel like I'm always complaining about not real things in these posts. It's like celebrities complaining about being too famous or rich people whining that they have too much money. Um, that's not a real thing. "Oh, that must be terrible that you don't have enough diamond bags for all of your diamonds." I mean, on the one hand, sometimes things are annoying or unpleasant and that's the way it is, whether someone else is starving or has flesh-eating disease or not (good examples!). Do you know what I'm saying? Everything is trivial compared to the person with the saddest most horrible life (I think it's that girl in those vampire movies - she seems really down every time I see her), but that doesn't mean that mascara commercials aren't annoying anymore (if I am still seeing mascara commercials in 30 years that say they've finally figured out how to make the twenty .01mm thick hairs on your face look .02mm thick, I hope global warming burns me alive. Your eyelashes are fine, ladies! That is also not a thing!). Do you understand where I am going with this?

So, holy hell I had so much meat last night.

Note: For six weeks, July 5 - August 11, I will be enrolled in the culinary arts cooking and pastry/baking certificate programs at Boston University. Cooking is Monday and Tuesday, baking is Wednesday and Thursday. We have to keep a daily journal of the experience, so I'll be blogging about the class every day.

What a long week that last one was, am I right? I'm right. The week started with fireworks! In the sky! And then it was all downhill from there. I mean, most things are downhill from fireworks, but still, work work work, school school school, you know?

But, despite being tiring and late and often overwhelming, the culinary arts courses are quickly becoming the highlights of the day. It's nice to do real things, with my hands, and see the end results. Taste the end results, I should say (oh gosh, those graham crackers). Anyway, Friday's class was all about sauces. And boy are my arms tired! Ba-dum-dum. Kind of.

Note: For six weeks, July 5 - August 11, I will be enrolled in the culinary arts cooking and pastry/baking certificate programs at Boston University. Cooking is Monday and Tuesday, baking is Wednesday and Thursday. We have to keep a daily journal of the experience, so I'll be blogging about the class every day.

Have you ever seen the movie Gosford Park? You should! It's a great movie. I've probably seen that movie more than any other movie. It's the movie I always turn on, just when you want a movie playing, you know? You know. My sister's movie is Catch Me If You Can.

Anyway, there is a scene in that movie where the snobby, catty Aunt Constance, played by Maggie Smith, I mean DAME Maggie Smith, sits down to breakfast in bed, peers into the jam jar and says, "Bought marmalade? Oh dear, I call that very feeble."

So the lesson from last night's cookie and crackers class is, "Bought graham crackers? Oh dear, I call that very feeble."

Note: For six weeks, July 5 - August 11, I will be enrolled in the culinary arts cooking and pastry/baking certificate programs at Boston University. Cooking is Monday and Tuesday, baking is Wednesday and Thursday. We have to keep a daily journal of the experience, so I'll be blogging about the class every day.

You often hear that cooking and pastry are two different worlds. Isn't that something you often hear? I think it is.

It certainly felt that way after last night's class. The difference between Tuesday night's cooking class and last night's baking and pastry class was like the difference between a Transformers movie and a quiet French film. Maybe that's a bad example because Transformers movies (what number are we on? 29?) are loud and clangy and you forget about them ten minutes after you watch them, while cooking is loud and clangy but at least you can enjoy a delicious French onion soup when you are finished. What am I talking about? I think I'm tired. Cooking > Transformers. But what isn't?

Anyway, in Tuesday's cooking class it was basically, "There's no time! Put on your coats, here's how you cut an onion, go make some stock."  We were cooking about 15 minutes into the class, getting pots of this and that going, rushing around the kitchen, figuring out the best order to do everything and sprinting to get it all plated and on the table by the end. Last night's baking and pastry class, on the other hand, started with a lengthy introduction to the ingredients and science behind pastries and baked goods, a thorough demonstration of the recipe and a slower, more methodical cooking experience. One isn't necessarily better than the other; they are just different. Isn't that what parents tell their children?

Note: For six weeks, July 5 - August 11, I will be enrolled in the culinary arts cooking and pastry/baking certificate programs at Boston University. Cooking is Monday and Tuesday, baking is Wednesday and Thursday. We have to keep a daily journal of the experience, so I'll be blogging about the class each night.

Yesterday I woke up at 7am (on a WEEKEND!) to go to a flag raising ceremony, Independence Day parade and reading of the Declaration of Independence (Have you read it? I'll tell you, we didn't mince words) here in Boston. Then we walked to the Bunker Hill Monument before heading over to the USS Constitution ("Old Ironsides") to see her come into port from her annual turnaround. And we finally ended up in Cambridge, baking in the sun for about 6 hours to hold a primo viewing spot for the fireworks. This was after two prior days of events, including a Boston Tea Party reenactment cruise ("Throw the tea into the water! Now pull it back in for environmental reasons!"), a fife and drum concert, the 35th Annual Chowderfest and a tour of the crypts and tower of the Old North Church made famous by Paul Revere's lanterns. At midnight last night I was on a packed train home, a strange girl pushing my butt forward so she wouldn't be squashed by the crowd pushing us all back into her. I woke up tired, burnt and missing my keys (adult problems!). 

I know, I know, poor me, I should be in one of those abused dog commercials. So it was the perfect day to start culinary school!